Oatmeal CookieBlog

OCG TKO

Hey, everybody. Sorry for the recent blog silence. The flu has really knocked me out. But I hope to be up and baking again this weekend.

Beach Rose Hips ≠ Beach Plums

No, these aren't tomatoes. They're rose hips from the beach rose bush. Beach roses come in either white or pink and have a sweet, clean smell that instantly transports me back to childhood summers on the South Shore of Massachusetts. Beach rose bushes spring up wherever there's sandy soil, so it's no wonder how they got their name.

For the longest time, I thought beach rose and beach plum bushes were one in the same and that the reddish-orange balls pictured below were fruit. I was wrong. It turns out that they are two separate plants and that what I thought was a fruit is actually a rose hip. Oops!

I figured it out when I cut open a couple of the rose hips. Instead of revealing a sweet, fleshy fruit, I got what looked like a mini-pumpkin packed with seeds. What to do, what to do? Well...turn to Wikipedia, of course! My plan was to use the "fruit" somehow in the recipe for my Beach Plum Thumbprint Cookies, but I quickly learned that wouldn't work.

I may have had to switch gears with my recipe, but I did get a botany lesson...and an idea. I have a bottle of unopened rose water I got a while ago stashed at the back of my baking cupboard. Stay tuned for a rose-flavored cookie. I'm thinking it will be a small, flat, round rolled/cutout cookie topped with some crunchy dusting sugar.

Too Sweet for the Sweet

I made a batch of Ambrosia Cookies on Thursday night. Unfortunately, they came out far too sweet. I used dried pineapple, fresh cherries, orange marmalade, coconut, and mini marshmallows. Each of the ingredients is really sweet in its own right. But in combination, that sweetness is multiplied...by a factor of 10. In other words, they were not bring-in-able.

Oops! Some tweaking is in order.

I think that maybe some sour cream will help balance the flavor.

These Bombs Bombed

My attempted Irish Car Bomb cookie kinda blew up on me. Well, actually, maybe it's more accurate to say that they were duds. Or that these bombs bombed. In other words, these cookies were definitely not bring-in-able.

These guys didn't spread out when baking; had a dry, cakey texture; and--perhaps most surprising--were hollow.

Here's what I learned from the postmortem: I inadvertently used twice as many currants as I had planned. I forgot to use McCann's Irish oatmeal. The Guinness was so sudsy that I probably didn't need to include baking soda...or I could have used about half as much. D'oh!

Back to the drawing board. I guess practice really does make perfect.

The Perils of Pretzel-Making

I was in the mood to bake last night, but I wanted something savory, not sweet. After some surfing and searching, I decided to try these miniature soft pretzels. Mmmm, pretzels! That's what the doctor ordered. Just looking at the pics on the recipe page made my mouth water.

I started mixing the dough as soon as I got home. And then I waited about an hour for the dough to rise. And waited...and waited.

Apparently, yeast that's been hanging out in your cabinet for about a year doesn't have the mojo it once did. Go figure.

I thought I was lucky because I wouldn't have to run down to the grocery store to pick up anything, but the yeast I had on hand--from back when I used to make pizza dough from scratch last summer--rose about as rapidly as I do on Sunday mornings. Which is to say not very rapidly at all.

So instead of having hot, fresh-from-the-oven soft pretzels, I had a lump of cold, unrisen dough. Oops! Yet another blooper with bread.

Measure Twice, Bake Once

To borrow a truism from carpentry, you should "measure twice, bake once" when you're trying out new recipes.

Check out what happened when I was developing my Flat, Crunchy Chocolate Chip Cookies.

The proof is in the...er, um...cookie. In this photo, the cookie on the left includes twice the flour and oatmeal than the cookie on the right. All the other ingredients are the same, but my misreading of my own recipe lead to the dry plumpness that is the cookie on the left.

I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong, and then it hit me like a dozen dough ball-shaped cookies: I had used the incorrect amounts of dry ingredients. Duh!

Yes. I am the Oatmeal Cookie Guy, and I oopsed! Learn from my mistake and make sure you read your recipes carefully. Otherwise, the flat, crunchy cookie you were hoping for will turn out plump and crumbly.

It's a Sin to Omit the Cinnamon

I made some oatmeal raisin cookies last night as part of my "bringing sexy back to raisins" campaign. But I forgot a key ingredient: cinnamon.

Yes. The Oatmeal Cookie Guy oopsed.

The finished cookies were OK, but I could tell something was missing. I reread my recipe notes and realized that I had forgotten the cinnamon. D'oh! I didn't think they were bring-in-able, but Jon took the whole batch with him to work today.

I think I was thrown off and distracted because I had to run down to the store to pick up some flour. Next time, I'll have to send Jon down to do any last-minute shopping!

Sugar Is as Sugar Does

Take a close look at The List, and you'll see an entry for "Yuletide Cookies." These are obviously a Christmas cookie, but I've been reluctant to make them again because the original recipe wasn't bring-in-able. In other words, I oopsed!

I think the concept was good, but it just didn't work. Take it from me: If your planning on using ground-up candy canes to replace all the sugar in your cookie recipe, you'll get super-minty, dangerously crunchy cookies.

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth...indeed.

When It Comes to Pie Crust, Grandmas Know Best

Apropos of my From-Scratch Apple Pie recipe, Mumma emailed me the following picture. (There she goes again, clogging up the Interwebs with her email forwards... But I still love her.)

Mon...Um...Tues...Um...Wednesday Is Cookie Day

I know...I'm going to be two days late with this week's cookies.

Tonight I was going to make the sea salt-topped chocolate cookies that Princess Ariele requested, but my grocery store didn't have Cocoa Pebbles. Sorry, Ariele! I haven't forgotten. It's just that your cookie requires a special shopping trip.

Instead, I came up with something (sorta) new. I'll all say is that coconut lovers should stay tuned. I'll post a new recipe tomorrow.

Plastic Bowl, Hot Oil, Food Falls Through Bottom

The old cooking refrain that "hot pan, cold oil, food won't stick" may be true, but I have another bit to add: "plastic bowl, hot oil, food falls through bottom."

My first two attempts at making homemade microwave popcorn didn't go so well. The first time, Saran Wrap melted to the sides of the plastic bowl and wouldn't come off. The second time, the plastic bowl started melting, and when I took it out of the microwave, unpopped kernels started dropping through the bottom.

So take my advice: use a Pyrex casserole dish if you're going to make homemade microwave popcorn.

Ovens Are Really Hot!

I wasn't kidding when I wrote in one of my earliest posts that "my mother’s oven bakes faster than the speed of sound."

Be careful...ovens, and the things that come out of them, are hot! I made my Lime in the Coconut cookies for Mumma when Jon and I visited her last week, and I accidentally tapped my arm with the piping-hot edge of a cookie sheet and gave myself a nasty burn. Needless to say, I look like I've been branded by the Half-Sheet Pan Ranch.

So what's the take-away here?

1. Handle one cookie sheet at a time. Don't try to take one out and put one in at the same time.
   
2. If you can, wear long sleeves when you're cooking or baking.
   
3. Have lots of Neosporin in your medicine cabinet.
   
4. Don't use butter to treat a burn. (This is actual advice I got in my junior high school health class. But doesn't this advice beg the question: Why would anyone even think of using butter to treat a burn? Corn yes. Flesh wounds no.)
   

Make a (Grocery) List and Check It Twice

Last night I was going to make my Chocolate-Stuffed Peanut Butter cookie--an inside-out version my Peanut Butter Cup cookie--but I forgot a couple ingredients and didn’t dare brave this NYC heat wave to run back out for the few things I needed to pick up. (What can I say? I’m delicate and need to be stored at a constant 66° F.)

But I’ll pick up the necessary bits this afternoon and will post the recipe and pics later tonight.

How Do You Spell Traffic? O-R-E-O

If you’re in the Chicago area and have a jones for some free Oreos, stop by Highway 80. (Five-second rule is obviously in effect.)

For those with a jones for a moister and tastier stuffed version, check out my Fake-Out-Eos.

Know When to Hold 'em, Know When Not to Bring 'em In

I’m no gambler when comes to my cookies, but I’m baker enough to admit when a recipe goes pffft. So, with great humility, I declare my chocolate malted cookies not bring-in-able.

My first go at this recipe produced a solidly OK cookie, but it wasn’t particularly special, and it didn’t really taste very malty. My second attempt sought to pump up the malt flavor, but the cookies came out as flat as my singing voice, and they were tooth-achingly sweet. My third and final attempt last Sunday night produced a cookie with a really nice crispy/chewy texture, but the flavor just wasn’t there.

Maybe a cookie isn’t the best platform for malt flavor. Old-fashioned malted drinks have texture and temperature components. No cookie can replicate the icy, velvety smoothness of a shake. And no cookie can replicate the crunch, rush of sweetness, and quick dissolve of a malted milk ball.

Oh well…back to the drawing board mixing bowl.

Elvis Has Left the Building (For Now)

Today's recipe was going to be for "The Elvis," a cookie that takes the King's favorite snack--a fried banana, peanut butter, and bacon sandwich--and puts it in cookie form. I "healthy-up" this heart attack on a plate by adding oatmeal and a little bit of chocolate and by replacing the bacon with Bacos--a soy-based bacon alternative. You know--health food.

This is a recipe I've made before that turned out OK but that I felt could use a little tweaking because the cookies came out a little more banana bread-y than I had intended. Ug...there's nothing worse, in my eyes at least, than a cakey cookie.

Despite Jon's stamp of bring-in-able approval, I'm still not entirely satisfied with the reworked recipe and will have to revisit my fresh-to-dried banana ratio.

And I know what you're thinking. No, it wasn't the Bacos. The salty/smoky flavor is an excellent foil for the sweetness of the bananas, peanut butter, chocolate. If you don't trust me, drip some maple syrup on your bacon the next time you're having that Lumberjack Special at your local greasy spoon. Or try some chocolate topped with sea salt. You don't know what you're missing.

Until I perfect "The Elvis" and elevate it to Oatmeal Cookie Guy standards, the recipe will remain under wraps. And so today I (again) give you Raspberry-Chocolate Fondue, a taste-tested crowd favorite.

Active Ingredient: Planning

It must have been six or seven years ago. Jon and I had an annoying houseguest...who shall remain nameless. Oh what the hell…let’s just call her Satie. We decided to make cookies—the infamous Neiman Marcus variety whose recipe pops up in email inboxes every now and then.

Satie must have been having low blood sugar or something because she started belting out “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” At the top of her lungs. In the middle of August. Don’t ask…I still can’t figure it out, and it’s almost been a decade. And no: We weren’t making that kind of cookie, thank you very much.

It was quite a kerfuffle. We forgot to add the flour, the cookies were horrible, and Satie wouldn’t shut up.

Moral of the story: Do the whole mise en place thing when you bake; you’ll be less likely to forget an ingredient. And if you see crazy, cross the street.

Exactly How Big Is 32 Ounces?

Well, it’s pretty big, but I didn’t realize that until the lime extract I ordered online arrived. “Holy cow,” I thought, “this is the size of the bottle of Jean Nate I got my mother for Christmas when I was seven.” This big ol’ bottle kinda makes me feel like Dennis Waterman from Little Britain. Look how tiny that eency-weency 1-ounce bottle of cinnamon extract looks next to a 32-ouncer!

You (well, actually, Jon) can find all sorts of extracts in any grocery store.  Lemon and orange are pretty standard, but lime was another story altogether. The grocery story downstairs didn’t have any; Whole Foods, Balducci’s, and Trader Joe’s didn't have any either.

So what’s the Oatmeal Cookie Guy to do when he can’t find a key ingredient for his “Lime in the Coconut” cookie?  Well, he goes online, of course!

I must have clicked on the wrong button or something because I never would have guessed that I’d wind up with an industrial-sized supply of the stuff. Long story short: I’ve got to come up with a lot of lime-based cookies…or start using lime extract as cologne.  Lucky for me it tastes and smells awesome.

Brewing Bread

A few years ago Jon and I, wanting to make good use of the bread machine my brother had given me that Christmas, decided to make our own fried dough. We used one of the prepackaged bread mixes that came with the machine and followed all the directions. After the cycle was complete, we decided that if one rising of the dough was good, three would be excellent, and so ran two more cycles. As I pulled the triple-risen dough ball out of the machine, there was a noticeable boozy smell. “Must be the yeast,” I thought, and began shaping the dough into disks and floating them in the hot oil. We gobbled up the whole batch. About twenty minutes later, we both felt a bit tipsy and realized that the triple-fermented dough had gotten us drunk. They don’t use yeast in beer making for nothing!